Canuck Monopoly

I find myself owning more board games at this juncture of life. Could it be the under age group residing in my household that dictates this use of time and mental bandwidth? It certainly contributes.
The real reason is the weather. As we await the impending weather here in Toronto we do what any California transplant does- buys more non-local wine of the red varietal, and more board games.
The newest of the boxed bunch- City Monopoly. This version allows you to build high rises and sewage treatment plants next door to your neighbors with very little regard for local planning. This newest variety got me thinking about how many genres of Monopoly there really could be. The capitalist bent of the game is always the competitive, capitalistic, money hoarding and free wheeling American psyche brought to it's simplest form: an evening of togetherness. Capitalist tendencies do coincide with Canadian cultural habits but in such a humbled form the tendencies seem like the mere shadow of what they represent.

Enter the newest idea for a board game (yes, it's my own idea) Cunuck Monoploy.
This version of the game has very little in common with it's sibling from the states. First off, it's all about complacency. And hockey.

The rules of my version of Canadian Monopoly would be as follows: If you say something rude to the TTC driver you must attend a class. Instead of jail, we have Canadian charm school where one learns the ever popular passive -aggressive way of smiling and waving at your neighbor vs flipping em the bird.
The real estate around the board is heavily suburban-cottage country focus, since the cottage country adjective is so tightly knit to Canadian Identity that it only seems authentic to the rules of the game to include it. Other key real estate on the game board includes bankrupt hockey teams in Arizona. Don't worry though, you'll never be able to buy them.

The big GO on the American gameboard would be replaced with the LCBO or the liquor control board, which exists on the corner end where collecting a salary would be on the American version of the game. Instead of free parking, there's Canadian Tire.

Chance cards offer the following advice and direction: "Go directly to your television and find a curling game. Watch this television channel for 20 min" (which will seem like 2 weeks.) Another chance card might read "go directly to Swiss Chalet and order the french fries with poutine."
( American's who have never head of this: think Denny's greasy french fries smothered in gray gelatinous gravy.)

The game pieces would be as follows: a mitten, a hockey skate, a hockey stick, a hockey puck, a zamboni, a can of Labatt's beer, a woolen hat in red, a chain saw, and a snowmobile.

The winner of the game will be the one with an average amount of money, driving a Buick SUV, and owning a piece of the cottage county with a winter get away at Blue Mountain.

It's so very nice and civilized, this game of Canadian Monopoly. Just remember that complacency replaces strategy. And don't forget to smile a great deal.

Can you tell that today I miss California?

Dilettantish Darkhorse

Cozy can be described as anything that gives you a warm fuzzy feeling in the pit of your soul.

A cafe of recent finding has the cozy affect cornered as my new free wifi hang and coffee connection. Canadian coffee culture is a great deal like the Canadian wine culture: M.I.A.
Why the culinary bitch slap you ask? When placing a coffee order the server always asks "what do you like in your coffee" and proceeds to add the cream or sugar or ? to the cup. Yes, I know it's so wrong on so many levels but that's the long and the short of coffee here.

I consider it a Canadian cultural divide.

The Darkhorse cafe on Spidina has all the charm of an uber chic San Francisco hang coupled with the coffee culture akin to Seattle- A true hybrid. Think capitalistic love child cafe. Why the capitalist slam you ask, well this artistically barista-d cafe is more expensive than Starbucks and if you let me geek out with a purely foodie metaphor the Darkhorse cafe is Sonoma to the Toronto coffee oasis as the humble noir grape is to Sonoma. Okay, it's metaphorically a stretch but I think you get where I'm going.

If anything at all is gonna get me through the great white snowy season that awaits, it's great coffee and a cafe vibe that rivals most metropolitan cities: Barcelona comes to mind. Rome too. Perhaps it's a nod to Canadian civility as conceitedness takes a well placed stance at the back of the que right next to snotty and attitude since none of that seems to exist here at the dark horse cafe.

Today it's mixed mob of fashionistas, artist's, geeks, and office types all basking in the vibe.It looks like a deelicious trail mix of humanity.

The weather promises to offer sunshine and warmth, so the excitement level is somewhere between the Easter bunny arriving and an open bar at the Ritz . Yes, really that happy.

Of course just as I state the obvious with my neglected Ray-Bans getting some long overdue use, tomorrow may bring an entirely different vibe to my coffee experience here at the darkhorse, but today it's about as good as it gets here in the fair city of T.O.

Why Is Your Christmas Tree Parked Next To The Halloween Candy?

Remember when you were a kid, how time seemed to crawl ever so slowly by.. The wait for Halloween catapulted you into the big leagues of countdowns..tic tock Christmas is t-minus how many days away??

I only ask because last week I stopped into Ikea only to find trees trimmed in full Christmas celebratory style-ala-ikea. Whaaat? October...so is it me or is it really a stretch?

Who is responsible for this phenomenon? As an ahhm..American, I used to think my twisted culture was the culprit. But alas, sweet Swedish ikea has succumbed to the capitalist cocktail that America shakes and serves up even in these economic times.

Oh yeah, the economy is still being shaken like a snow globe, so it's apropos to have the holiday cha-ching so early in autumn I suppose..

Yes, I like the change of the seasons here in Toronto. The capitalism I thought I left behind...not so much.

Does Santa accept letters from us a wee bit earlier due to our proximity to the pole. Hope so.

Casa De H1N1

A virtual bus just ran over me. That's what it feels like. All the hype, all the frenzied CDC reports, and the icing on the cake: tah-dah...it's sitting here, right here in my own home. My two school aged peitri dishes brought it home.. cough cough. The first few daze were awful, maybe even woeful, especially for the harder hit seven year old. The crazy part is we have been hyper vigilant against germs. You can run but you can not hide from H1N1.

So where is that vaccine.. as NY and our Midwestern stateside neighbors form a neat que to receive the N1H1 jab I still can't wrap my head around why the Canadians continue to wait? Hello-Ottawa? Anyone paying attention? Yes, you are all so polite, but perhaps now is not the time to be polite or complacent.

Canada knew this wave of illness was coming, discussing it each and everyday in the media. Yet vaccine is not yet available for the general public. We are told by the Health minister who is like a tamer version of the CDC (the Canadian CDC) that Monday is the day. Yes- as in next week. That's the new improved, sooner that Nov.4th date.

W.t.f.? Why the wait. Stateside has more than a weeks' worth of time under it's belt administering vaccine. Why the wait in availability for Canada? Better yet why is the american transplant residing in Toronto asking this question? Where is the vocal local voice?

Cough cough, no one can hear you.

Off The Hook

When people say they would like to run away and join the circus I always nod in agreement. I get it. I am such a cirque du soleil junkie that my secret pipe dream is to be a part of the troupe. Really.

The healthy channel instead is to be a groupie and see them all over the planet.
Check.

But this week when it was reported that a young performer of cirque died from injuries sustained from a trampoline fall during a practice, it brought it all into perspective. The circus is a dangerous business. Amazingly cirque du soleil reported this as it's first such tragedy after twenty-five years of performance.

Odds are that something is gonna happen if you spend enough time doing dangerous stuff. Remember Evil Knievel. Enough said. But circue performers are artisans who have trained as dancers and gymnasts and paid with due diligence to hone a skill set few mortals dare.

My 7 and 9 year old sons' sat mesmerized during the Sunday performance of Ovo. When questioned about the show, the nine year old said "That was off the hook."

Enough said.

I Spy

The recent Toronto book fair honoring the written word was a smashing success.

This is something book geek worthy, and yes if the shoe is custom fit- then it is my duty to attend such geekiness, if only to show support to the other five attendees. Much to my chagrin, as I exited the Museum metro platform and ascended the stairs to Queens park I was met by a mob scene. All of this for the written word festival? Why yes indeed. Magazines, socialist wingnut writers, journalism non profits all had booths set up. I have learned that any Canadian festival is always showcasing Canadian. Glad I left my red and white pom poms at home.

Typically book festivals offer lots of free stuff-books out of print, proofed copies.Weirdly enough the only free books available were the ones being hawked by the religious groups in attendance. It seemed to me that even god or Allah is not recession proof. The funny -people- watching -moment of the event: a few Muslim guys arguing about which direction in which to kneel while praying. A couple of opinions and pointing fingers in various directions made the prayer blanket look more like a three stooges skit.

The true high light of the afternoon: Hanging with the cartoon creators of The Possum, and Spy Guy. My own short guys loved watching the creation of a customized piece of artwork, that was an extra goodie for purchasing a grab bag of comics.

Spendy Syrup

As a California transplant here in Canada, few things wield intimidation like maple syrup. Laugh away but, If you are an oenophile (I like to identify as a wine nerd) so comparing maple syrup to french vino: nothing is as expensive (drop for drop than Bordeaux.) Pitch perfect analogy.

Why is this? I am also a foodie, a foodie who found the recent movie about Julia Child as emotionally satisfying as sitting down to an entire tub of ben & jerry cherry Garcia but I digress. The foodie mecca here in T.O. is the St. Lawerence Market.

The weekend farmer market at our noteworthy market the pilgrimage we all seek. Guss it could be worse since this is completely legal with no nasty hangover. The earlier you shop, the more educated and serious the food shopper. An inverse relationship exists in this regard. Later than 8:30, you are automatically tagged a tourist.
Back to my theme this weeek. Maple syrup- Pure maple syrup is graded according to Federal USDA regulations, and is based on both color and flavor. The grades are: US Grade A Light Amber, US Grade A Medium Amber, US Grade A Dark Amber, and US Grade B. Some states use a slightly different terminology, as does Canada, but the legal requirements for each grade are the same, regardless of what they are called. For example: Grade A Light Amber syrup is sometimes called Fancy Grade, and here in Canada it is called No. 1 Extra Light.

Well thank goodness it's not just for breakfast anymore. Baked pairs, braised beef, caramelized root veggies- sorry to geek out but these are all dee-licious with a dash of Canada's maple syrup.

So we'll choose to drink the Chilean reds so we can pop for the dark amber syrup.

All maple syrup grades are better than the artificial stuff. Otherwise it's strictly a matter of personal choice. Ask yourself : Which is better, white wine or red wine? Which is better, light beer or dark beer? Beer can probably be compared most easily to the different maple syrup grades/flavors. A light pilsner beer has a light color and delicate flavor, while a Stout or Porter has a very dark color and strong flavor. It's strictly a matter of personal choice, and there isn't one grade of maple syrup that is "better" than another. Thx for hangin'for the foodie geek out session. Now go sing the praises of the syrup-